smgianotti, Author at Faith and the Other Five Senses

When I’m Hurting and It Seems Like God’s to Blame

smgianotti — May 19, 2015

“Stop, Emma!” My brother’s voice exploded as he slammed the table with his fist and catapulted to his feet. His two-year-old daughter’s decent from the chair halted, fear streaking her face and her bare feet dangling above the floor. Tears welled in her eyes. Was this the daddy who kissed her before bed and stroked her blonde hair on the pillow?

Sometimes when disaster or disappointment erupts in our lives, we can feel like Emma. Hearing tires squeal and feeling the impact. Getting called to the boss’s office after a mistake. Mom’s shaky voice telling us that Dad is in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.

Photo courtesy of Aaron Watt via Creationswap.com

In these moments, anxiety paralyzes us. God feels absent, and we question his love.

When circumstances sting, it is possible that, like Emma, we don’t see everything that is at stake.

In Christianity discipline, father, God, hardship, pain, Story

Confessions of a Taker

smgianotti — April 7, 2015

Recently, I drove my slow-leaking front tire over to Discount Tires. Twenty minutes later I drove off with one construction nail less, one patch more, and a receipt for $0.00.

I love free things.

Photo courtesy of Laura Merchant via Creationswap.com

I love the free advice Michael Hyatt gives on his blog—the app recommendations and statistics for why I should nap more. I love that a stranger with silver whiskers, staying in the campsite next to us, overheard our Coleman troubles and lent us his stove to cook our gumbo. I love that once when I ran an hour behind, bogged down by EKGs and sending patients to the hospital, my boss added my next patient to her schedule.

Nothing perks me up like something free.

Let me clarify. Nothing perks me up like getting something free.

In A Better World, Christianity giving, golden rule, helping others, Service, taking

Four Ways to Cultivate Your Imagination & Why You Should Even Bother

smgianotti — March 31, 2015

Despite what I advise patients in the exam room, I fight a constant battle to get:

8 hours of sleep
30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week
5 fruits and vegetables a day

So, if I’m already struggling to master those healthy habits, why would I add imagination-training to the list?

Image courtesy of Ben Moore via unsplash.com

Because, cultivating our imaginations is like getting an oil change. We can run for a while without it, but at a lower performance Continue Reading…

In Embodiment, Imagination art, imagination, Music, Nature, Poetry

Being Honest About Singleness

smgianotti — March 24, 2015

Sometimes, I don’t mind singleness–when I’m hiking between cacti on the border of Mexico, taking a selfie at the Meyerson before the violins warm up, or forking a pumpkin ravioli with brown butter sauce in downtown Dallas. On these days, I might even like being single.

But, sometimes, singleness is the ache to feel a shoulder against my salty cheek, to feel an arm weigh on me as I flutter at the edges of sleep…

Photo courtesy of Karen Long via Creationswap.com

…for the scent of Gillette aftershave to interrupt my French Roast reveries, for the clack of oxfords on the stoop at six, for two steaming bowls of corn and jalapeño chowder, for a kiss that bristles after dark, and for another set of tired eyes to scan the small, black figures on the spreadsheet labelled “House Search.”

What does singleness feel like?

It depends on when you’re asking.

In Singleness aching, companionship, Singleness

No Demons Here

smgianotti — March 21, 2015

Imagining demon-possession seems unwise, so I start with the tombs. Mark’s demoniac lived among the tombs (Mark 5:1-20). Clenching my lashes together, I fight off the brightness diffusing through my eyelids. Imprints of my cherry wood desk and the crape myrtle beyond it float in my brain. The fan hums overhead and sweet air wafts over me. Not very tomb-like.

Photo courtesy of Joel Mulhouse via Creationswap.com

I try to imagine gathering bones for pillows, screaming just to hear my own voice, and gashing my chest with rocks. But I can’t, because I’m used to reading the Bible from the sidelines.

In Bible, Imagination Bible, imagination, Mark, reading, tombs

Eugene Oh and The Funniest Story I’ve Ever Heard

smgianotti — March 12, 2015

I received news this week that my friend Eugene Oh died. He was in his thirties, a husband and father of a toddler, and died suddenly from a hemorrhage in his brain.

I first met Eugene while visiting my brother in Korea. While hiking and scrambling up what we called the “Razorback Mountains,” I learned that Eugene could make anyone laugh.

Several years later he visited us in Rochester during the dead of winter. We trekked over to Black Creek Park where he and Jason made a snow jump for our GT-cruiser (a contraband Canadian sled that isn’t sold in the US). We took turns laying down under the jump, first one and then two of us Continue Reading…

In People, Story Story

Controlling My Anxiety with Mason Jars

smgianotti — March 10, 2015

I was on a pre-break-up run. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time, but I had begun to worry about my dating difficulties, and pounding it out on the trail to White Rock Lake seemed like a good idea.

I felt stuck in one of those Vine videos on Facebook, looping through the same anxious thoughts, over and over, until I wanted to scream. If only I could close the browser on my anxiety or scroll past it like a Vine. But, anxiety doesn’t work like that.

Photo courtesy of Rula Sibai via unsplash.com

Sometimes, when people quote the Bible, they seem to imply that anyone can dispel anxiety with four easy steps: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer (Step 1) and supplication (Step 2), with thanksgiving (Step 3) let your requests be made known to God (Step 4). And the peace of God…will guards your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7).

But, in all my years as a champion worrier, the four-steps approach rarely fast-tracked me to peace. True–that day on the path–praying and giving thanks reminded me that even if my relationship nosedived and I got wounded in the crash God would help me through. But, how could I get a grip on the anxious feelings?

In Anxiety, Christianity, Embodiment anxiety, Embodiment, faith, jars, peace, Philippians

Beauty at the Curb

smgianotti — March 5, 2015

Jewel scraped her boot through the leaves congregating in the gutter. Her glossy, black heel revealed a cigarette butt and the corner of a Snickers wrapper matted to the cement by summer dirt and fall rain. From the look of it, the trash had claimed this corner long before she had.

Photo courtesy of Jenifer Cabrera via Creationswap.com

At the sound of tires, Jewel’s spine straightened and her hips cocked, but the black sedan sped up. She threw a provocative smile anyways, only to have the tinted windows fling it back.

In Beauty, Fiction, Story art, beauty, leaves, memory, Story

Sensing the Way into Worship

smgianotti — February 24, 2015

Filming Much Ado About Nothing (2012) in black and white worked for Joss Whedon–in minimizing the visual input he managed to accentuate the drama. But this technique doesn’t always work, especially when it comes to worship.

Reading through the Bible, I get the distinct impression that God means to impress the Gospel on our senses. In foreshadowing Jesus’s death on the cross, God told the Israelites to smear lamb blood on their door posts (Exodus 12:1-13). At Mount Sinai, Moses showered the people with bulls’ blood as a sign of God’s covenant with them (Exodus 24:3-8). During the Last Supper, Jesus invited his followers to drink wine, stating that it was the new covenant in his blood (Luke 22:20).

Photo courtesy of CreationSwap via Creationswap.com

My childhood church offered grape juice at communion, so I remember (quite clearly) my first sip of vino at a cousin’s church. A streak of warm flowed down my throat and nestled into my empty belly. A couple minutes later a soft fizz started dancing in my brain. Physically speaking, that one sip changed me.

In Christianity, Embodiment, Faith Communion, Embodiment, Senses, Wine, Worship

Lessons on Singleness from a Kindergarten Teacher

smgianotti — February 2, 2015

A giant, purple muumuu cascaded over her large, mocha body as she sat in my exam room. I still suspect that catching cold delighted Mrs. Rodriguez*, since it gave her a reason to see everyone at the office.

A retired kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Rodriguez carried around bucketfuls of pent-up love. Each time I saw her, I got a little dousing–a blue tote that reminded her of her beloved bluebonnets that I must see one day, a heart-shaped necklace at Valentine’s, or gas station burritos.

Photo courtesy of Phillip Howard via flickr.com

“Best burritos in Rochester,” she said. “You’ve got to know where the real Mexicans cook.”

That day, she proffered this gem: “Enjoy singleness, Shannon. Once you get married, you can’t just walk around the house tooting.”

In Medlcine, Singleness humor, medicine, Singleness, Story

Faith and the Other Five Senses

Archives For smgianotti

When I’m Hurting and It Seems Like God’s to Blame

Confessions of a Taker

Four Ways to Cultivate Your Imagination & Why You Should Even Bother

Being Honest About Singleness

No Demons Here

Eugene Oh and The Funniest Story I’ve Ever Heard

Controlling My Anxiety with Mason Jars

Beauty at the Curb

Sensing the Way into Worship

Lessons on Singleness from a Kindergarten Teacher

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