How to Avoid the Unhelpful Question

smgianotti@me.com  —  November 10, 2015

There are questions worth asking in life. Did I put deodorant on? Did I forget to pay my credit card bill? Should I eat the re-fried beans considering I’m on a date? These are helpful questions.

Then, there are unhelpful questions, the king of which, in my opinion, is “Am I spiritual enough?” 

5005146417 4bd2529b9e bPhoto courtesy of Raymond Bryson via flickr.com

Nothing sucks me into a vortex quicker than The Unhelpful Question. High winds and negative pressure suck every insecurity into it’s path. It pulls up contentment by the roots. It splatters guilt everywhere. And, it keeps me spinning so fast, that I start to lose grip on reality. 

I should know better, but last week I stepped into the vortex. A friend has taken a couple months off work to write a Bible study. A classmate runs a women’s ministry at her church. A friend volunteers her time with refugees. I’m not doing any of those things. Am I spiritual enough? 

I felt sure I could only please God if I wrote a Bible study, led a woman’s ministry, and started meeting with refugees. I suffered from temporary amnesia, forgetting that God has already called me to other things right now—providing compassionate medical care and finishing this seminary degree. As the vortex kept spinning, I worried that those things weren’t enough.

Part of the allure of The Unhelpful Question is that asking if I’m spiritual enough sounds…well, spiritual. The Bible does talk about spirituality, after all, especially in 1 Corinthians. 

Spirituality was a hot topic for the Corinthians. In Paul’s first letter to them, he uses the word “spiritual” (pneumatikos) fourteen times (three times more than all his other letters combined*). But, when Paul talks about spirituality, he’s not offering them a measuring stick, he’s contrasting it with a way of living that neglects God. Spirituality, according to Paul, is about having “the mind of Christ” (1 Cor 2:16), seeing life through his eyes—the people at work, the project at home, the loud neighbors.

By contrast, scrounging around for evidence of our spirituality and comparing our pile with someone else’s, is a very unspiritual thing to do. And, this is exactly what the Corinthians were doing. According to Paul, it was proof of their unspirituality (1 Cor 3:1-3; 8:1-3). 

So, instead of ending up like the Corinthians, let’s find more helpful questions to ask, ones that won’t sweep us into the vortex. The Bible is full of concrete guidelines to draw from. For example: 

  • Was I thankful today, or did I rob God with my complaining? 
  • Have I honored God today, or was I focused on serving myself? 
  • Did I live by grace today, or did I slip back into thinking that I can earn (or lose) God’s favor? 

These questions are helpful. If we’ve been ungrateful, we can confess it and move on. This pleases God. Or perhaps, as we eat a slice of apple pie (which I’m doing as I write), these types of questions can remind us to thank God for the wonders of cooking. This pleases him, too. 

After all, what are we aiming for—to be more spiritual than the Joneses or to please God? Take it from someone who frequents the vortex all too often. Get rid of The Unhelpful Question. It deserves a place on the Do Not Ask list, right before “Do I look fat in this dress?” 

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* Letters where Paul’s authorship is undisputed. [Gerald F. Hawthorne, Ralph P. Martin, and Daniel G. Reid, eds., Dictionary of Paul and His Letters (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1993), 174.]

8 responses to How to Avoid the Unhelpful Question

  1. I love your conclusion: After all, what are we aiming for—to be more spiritual than the Joneses or to please God? We all seem to need to be constantly reminded of this. Even now I still do that comparing forgetting that all the Lord really wants is for me to spend time with Him and to know Him.

  2. In that book “Found”, the author talks about how she felt she had disappointed God and herself with the way her life turned out – she had thought her life would end up somewhere in Africa taking care of orphans. Instead she went to graduate school for poetry, married and became a stay at home mom, and found herself ironing a duvet cover one Saturday morning complaining about it..wondering if she was spiritual enough. She said something about it to her husband but later apologized, saying “I love you more than the idea of being remarkable.” Sometimes even our spiritual ambitions are just ambitions and that is why I think God works through and has us work in the mundane…so He can remain the extraordinary one.

  3. Really good Shannon. Well said.

  4. I have for sure gone through this since becoming a mom. It’s hard to feel like I am doing “enough” for God. It’s good to remember that He calls us to obedience and pleasing Him. Great post!

  5. Oh how I needed to read this today! Seems like everyday I am asking my Magnificent Saviour to use me and In my mind I find myself writing the script but to no avail! Nothing changes! I remain in the same ol’ same, which seems surely not enough! This was a great reminder that He only asks for our obedience and our thankfulness! Thank you Shannon! Looking forward to what’s ahead with your Advent devotions!